Tomato Throw – The Comedy Bar – October 3, 2017

It is said that audiences as far back as Shakespeare’s time used to throw rotten fruit at the actors. So I considered it a cultural excursion to go to The Comedy Bar in River North on a Tuesday night for one of their Tomato Throw shows.

Okay, I actually went because a friend’s son was performing there that night, but there’s nothing wrong with a twofer. Audience members don’t throw real tomatoes (so much for historical accuracy).  That would get expensive and messy. The fake tomatoes are made of soft plastic so that you can’t throw them very fast and they don’t hurt when they hit you, or so I surmised as I was not the target of any and no paramedics appeared during the evening.

Only one of the performers gets paid, the one who has the fewest tomatoes directed his or her way for subpar humor. Even before the show started we realized that the rules provided a huge advantage for whoever went first because no one yet knew the quality of humor of the field and because the nonregulars such as myself might be a little hesitant at first to join in the fray.

Our assessment was accurate. The first performer’s bathroom humor was not, in my opinion, even close to funny, but he escaped fairly unscathed. After that, however, something hit the fan, or more accurately, the tomatoes hit the wall. It got to the point where not only would people hurl missiles for little or no reason, the performers would encourage them to do so, knowing that they had no chance to win the money and figuring that they might as well endear themselves to the audience by becoming willing targets.

Next thing you know I’ll be going to state fairs to see the dunk tanks.

Paper Machete – Green Mill – January 13, 2018

Somehow, until now, I’ve been unaware of Paper Machete, the live magazine comedy and music review that moved to the Green Mill in December 2012. We arrived there about twenty minutes before the advertised 3:00 start of the show. But the Green Mill is at heart a jazz venue, so they didn’t start until about 3:15, early by jazz standards. Nevertheless, it was SRO to the max when we arrived, and I have no idea how early you have to get there to get a seat.

Though most of the crowd was a lot younger than us, there was a table of four that was a notable exception. They looked like they originally had come to see Billie Holiday in the 30s or 40s and wisely decided not to give up their seats. In the interesting seating configuration that is the Green Mill, their backs were to the main stage, but I was still jealous.

We wound up standing near the side door, constantly dodging waitstaff, but with a decent view of the primary stage and the area behind the bar used as a secondary stage. This put us next to a tall gentlemen who also was older than most of the crowd and who turned out to be the father of one of the performers. Even with that, he had to stand.

The emcee introduced acts, sang, and commented on the news. His opening wild, arm-flagellating, lip-synching routine tired me out just watching him.

In addition to him and that day’s band, we saw two comics, one of whom reported on important new devices displayed at the Consumer Electronics Show, such as smart toilets that create profiles of use by each person in your house.

When the show broke for intermission, we broke for the door, not out of dissatisfaction, as the comedy was spot on (though I’m hesitant to tell you what one comic said about cucumbers), but in response to a cry for help from my lower back ,which was tightening like a screw from standing in one place for an hour and a half. We need a new plan next time.