Lovely concert. Shouldn’t that be enough? No, because I was sitting in the front row, only a few feet from the performers. So I couldn’t help but notice that the members of the quartet weren’t using chin rests or shoulder pads and that something seemed different about their bows. Can of worms!

Going in, the only thing I knew about violins was what Emily Litella taught me about them on Weekend Update.

Now, having researched the issues, I understand that a baroque bow has a slightly different curvature than a modern bow.  So when it’s bent, it’s baroque, not broke.

Shoulder pads, while useful, can be problematic, because of several issues related to proper fitting. I don’t mean the kind of shoulder pads that Joan Crawford made famous. I mean the kind that attach to the stringed instrument to keep it stable.

Chin rests, which protect the instrument’s varnish and provide a secure and comfortable place for the jaw, also must be properly fitted.  A proper chin piece can help the musician play with a proud sternum, which is apparently a thing among violinists.

So why weren’t these musicians using chin rests? As Pee Wee Herman so famously said in his Big Adventure, “everyone I know has a big but. . . . let’s talk about your big but.”

The big but for chin rests is in regard to baroque violins, which are different in several ways from their more modern counterparts, in particular in regard to the tailpiece, which I knew was a part of a car, but had no idea was also a part of a violin.

Coincidentally, I found a video that discussed baroque violins and chin rests in terms of downshifts and upshifts, which I also knew related to cars, but not violins.

Next thing you know, I’ll discover an organization of mothers against drunk violin playing.