I’m taking a break this afternoon from constructing the grand piano in order to watch a live broadcast by NASA of the Perseverance Mars Rover landing. I’m a little skeptical about this event. After all, the there hasn’t been a mail delivery to my building in almost a week.

If they can’t get through a little snow and find my building, why should I believe that this supposed vehicle (probably just a LEGO in someone’s back yard) can travel 204 days at 12,500 miles per hour through space, avoiding whatever dangers may await them there (including, but not limited to an alien probe searching for humpback whales on earth), jettison unnecessary parts as it approaches Mars, deploy a 70-foot, 100-pound, supersonic parachute, compare onboard maps to photos of the surface in order to look for a safe landing spot (where are those self-driving cars they’ve been promising us?), ignite retrorockets, land on a dime, and then use that dime to call home to let everyone knows it’s okay, before starting to look for a 7-Eleven.