Chicago Cabaret Professionals Gala – Park West – October 21, 2018

The show opened with a parody of Cabaret from the Boomer Babes, Pam Peterson and Jan Slavin, whom I mention because I know Pam and she asked me to mention them.

Liberace would have fit right in. There was more glitter on stage and in the audience than at a sixth century Mayan temple.

There are some important things to know about glitter.

It’s not allowed in jail. Apparently it can be used to smuggle in Suboxone, which is a drug, not a deli sandwich.

Glitter never goes away. I can vouch for that, as I’m still having nightmares about it days after the event.

You can unstick glitter on your body with oil and a cotton ball. But then how do you get rid of the oil on your body? You could try in situ burning. But that seems like a bad idea on your skin.

Glitter is used on fishing lures because fish also like shiny things. I felt a little like a fish out of water at the event in my non-sparkly blue jeans, but my personality was luminous and the Park West had no problem accepting my charge card.

The show was long, in part because the organizers apparently felt the need to give everyone their moment on stage. And not all the performances were glittering. They ranged from hysterical to let’s talk about something us.

I was happy to see Anne and Mark Burnell perform, having enjoyed them at a Fourth Presbyterian Church noon hour concert over the summer.

But the highlights were Hilary Ann Feldman, Cynthia Clarey, and Caryn Caffarelli singing about their longing to eat cake instead of salad, while eating cake, and Jeff Dean telling us about the travails of a young caveman whose predilections didn’t fit in among his contemporaries.