Make your scratches on the wall counting the days small enough so that you don’t run out of room, and always make them at the same time of day so that you don’t get confused.

No matter how bad it tastes, you need to eat the prison food, I mean frozen dinners, to keep up your strength.

Have alternate plans of escape in case the guards, I mean doormen, catch on to one of them.

Don’t try to escape in the rain using a fake gun carved from a bar of soap.

When getting help to escape from someone on the outside (like your Amazon delivery person), it’s okay to shake hands with them if they have dry leprosy, which isn’t contagious, but not if they have COVID-19.

I ordered a picture of Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C. to cover the tunnel I’m digging in the wall using spatulas I ordered from Amazon (slow work).

I’m using Google Maps to inform my digging so that my tunnel comes out in a safe area, and not where the guards can see me, like in the lobby.

I ordered a thousand yards of dental floss from Amazon, which can be tied together to create a rope to climb down the side of the building.

Using all the boxes I’ve received from Amazon, I’m building a boat made out of cardboard, as instructed on a cardboard boat racing website I found, to launch at the beach (if I can get past the police roadblocks there) and sail to the Marshall Islands, where no cases of coronavirus have yet been reported.

How did prisoners escape before Amazon?