Las Vegas, upon reopening soon, is rumored to be considering rolling out a slightly modified slogan meant to assuage any fears of bringing the coronavirus back home after a visit – “What you contract in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

The Vegas strip will add the flagship location for a new chain called The Shelter Inn, which is conceived as a luxury hotel-hospital, and which will be opening around the country with the promotion “Checking in is better than checking out.”

Free transportation will be provided to the inns via a dedicated rail system – The Quarantine Express – for which Graham Nash purportedly has repurposed one of his big hits, as follows:

Looking at the world
Through the tear drops in your eyes
Trying to make the train
Where you’ll be sanitized
Masks and gloves and alcohol
We’re disinfecting wall to wall
And off’ring discounts from the mall for you

Sweeping cobwebs from the edges of my mind
Had to get away to help save humankind
Hope to start our lives anew
After what we’ve all been through
It’s time to board this train two by two

Don’t you know we’re riding
On the Quarantine Express
Don’t you know we’re riding
On the Quarantine Express
All on board the train.