WARNING: The following possible methods of treating COVID-19 have not YET been recommended by unlicensed health officials.

Eating a lot of hot, spicy food, while also shoving it up your nose, and rubbing it in your eyes.

With people wearing the same clothes day after day during shelter-in-place, dry cleaning factories are now available for picnics, complete with perchloroethylene cocktails.  Face masks should not be worn as they may inhibit the work of the chemicals.

Hoodoo spells cast by an experienced, well-intentioned practitioner.

Training a rabid dog to bite you all over your body and suck the evil spirits out of your system. This method offers multiple possibilities of eliminating the virus.

Sticking your head in the oven for 2 hours at 350 degrees, basting optional.

Locking yourself in your bathroom with a bucket of sand, a pitcher of salt water, and a sun lamp to simulate the conditions of going to the beach in California or Florida, where thousands are attempting a similar treatment. If you add a bottle of wine, you also can have a Seder.

Leeching. Unfortunately, however, PETA has filed a lawsuit asking that this method of using the Hirudo medicinalis (European medicinal leech) be blocked for the protection of the worm with bloodsucking capabilities, an action with congressional precedent.