Clue – Mercury Theater – October 29, 2022

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Not exactly Agatha Christie. While there were some giggles, the highlight of the first two-thirds of Clue was the guy behind me explaining the intricacies of his Halloween couch potato costume.

Part of the problem was that I didn’t particularly care for the characters (with no offense to the actors, whom I’ve seen do good work elsewhere). The suspects displayed fewer dimensions than their cardboard, board game avatars.

It occurred to me that it would have been more interesting if the dramatis personae had been the survivors of the S.S. Minnow. In fact, Episode 16 of Season 2 of Gilligan’s Island, entitled Not Guilty, wherein the setup suggests that one of the castaways is a killer, was a better whodunnit.

That said, the last half hour or so of Clue provided some real entertainment, beginning with Chicago favorite Mark David Kaplan, as the butler, being cut loose to deliver a rapid, over-the-top summary of the prior action on a par with Nathan Lane’s rendition of Betrayed as his jail cell synopsis of the story in The Producers. They probably have to replace the scenery after every performance once Kaplan gets done chewing it with exquisite aplomb.

Clyde’s – Goodman Theatre – October 1, 2022

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I didn’t think to count, but, according to the program, there were 21 sandwiches in this play, set in the kitchen of a truck stop eatery.

The last play I saw with this much food on stage was Sweeney Todd. That time the food wasn’t actually what it was alleged to be in the show (I hope).

Similarly, I doubt that all the ingredients suggested in Clyde’s were as stated, but, this time, I suspect, for convenience and budgetary sakes, not to avoid criminal prosecution.

But that doesn’t mean that the Goodman is cutting corners, as evidenced by the quote in the program from the props supervisor, who had to decide things like, “how many pickles do I need.”

If she messes up and there are too many leftovers, do they take it out of her pay? And I wonder how much food they went through in rehearsals. Did the actors ask to redo scenes so that they could eat more?

Speaking of the cast, their fine performances were highlighted by the fact that no one said their lines with their mouth full, which was particularly important in a performance without captioning.

Haunted Dolls & History’s Horrors – Chicago History Museum – September 27, 2022

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This is a disjointed temporary exhibit within the boundaries of the permanent Chicago: Crossroads of America exhibit, framed in terms of a scavenger hunt to find 13 hiding spots of 16 dolls (a trio of carolers and the so-called terror twins accounting for the numerical discrepancy), whose origins range from 1862 to 1933, with a few stops at “no date available.”

Chucky was not among the dolls, but “a beheaded beauty” was, according to the brochure I was given at the check-in counter. I’ll never know, as I ran out of interest before finding it. Maybe I headed in the wrong direction.

I also made the mistake of accepting the pamphlet for the adult version, unaware at the time that there was a kid-friendly version, which might have provided more clues and required less attention span, in addition to scrubbing “mentions of violence, disasters, and the supernatural.” Don’t the curators know what kids watch on TV?

Fortunately, I didn’t compound my mistake by putting any effort into my search. Instead, I created my own, simpler, version of the contest. So, although I accidentally found 10 of the not-so-covert nooks and crannies containing the artifacts before my energy petered out, I also awarded myself points for finding the elevator, a bench to sit on, the bathroom, a security guard to pester with stupid questions, and, most importantly, the exit.

Porchlight Music Theatre ICONS Gala – Ritz-Carlton – September 23, 2022

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I have now been to the last four Porchlight ICONS Galas, which have provided an interesting progression. The first one was a Sunday brunch that honored Jerome Robbins. He was not present to accept the award, having been dead for 20 years.

In 2020, because of the pandemic, the event became a three-day online affair, and included a pre-recorded interview with honoree Joel Grey, who, I’m happy to say, is still with us.

Last year, with life starting to open up, we were able to honor Chita Rivera in person on a Wednesday night.

This year, the event worked its way up to a Friday night, and not only was honoree Donna McKechnie in attendance, she also sang for her supper (a song from her Tony award-winning role as Cassie in A Chorus Line).

It was a wonderful evening, which means I only have two complaints.

Please don’t pass around exploding appetizers before dinner. Ten minutes in the bathroom trying to clean up my shirt, after biting into a pastry filled with goat cheese, wasn’t in my original plan.

And, if the hotel can go to the trouble of offering three different entree choices, how about also giving us dessert choices.

After all, because of my connection with Porchlight, I was given a Golden Ticket (really) for the event, just as if I were a kid in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, not Willy Wonka and the Vanilla Thingy on My Plate Gala.

A Show of Hands: Handwriting in the Age of Print – The Newberry – September 14, 2022

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My handwriting is terrible. If I were a referee tossing a homemade coin to start a football game, we’d never get to the kickoff, because no one can make heads or tails of my penmanship.

Fortunately, commercial typewriters were introduced in 1874, well before I started school. Unfortunately, no one ever taught me how to type. But, on the computer, I’m a whiz with two fingers – no trouble reading this piece.

All that aside, here’s the thing. According to The Productive Engineer website, printing is, perhaps surprisingly to some, faster than cursive writing, and, at least in my case, far more legible. On the other hand, the site suggests, cursive is better at improving one’s motor skills.

I’m a pretty good driver, but I don’t think that’s what they mean. What I did decide, however, is that if my cursive were better, I could play the piano better. Huh?

Well, cursive writing, not lifting the pen between letters, is like playing notes legato, Italian for tied together.

And, the Newberry exhibit (we finally got to it) includes mention of 1814 lectures on the art of writing that promoted “forearm” or “muscular” movement, using the arms and shoulders, rather than the hands and fingers, which is akin to the notion of using arm weight when playing the piano.

So, there it is. Schools that have discontinued teaching cursive writing might incorporate it into their music curriculum, except, oh wait, budget cuts have killed those programs too.

Magnetic Resonance Imaging – September 7, 2022

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The most amusing thing about getting an MRI is when they ask you whether you want to listen to any music. Sure, okay, why not. They didn’t have my piano teacher’s CD of Haitian compositions, so I settled for anything classical.

Then they gave me ear plugs, and ear phones to put over the ear plugs, just like a rock star, but no paper bag to put over my head, so I just kept my eyes closed the whole time, like in everyday life.

None of it mattered, as I could barely hear the strings, the presumably dulcet tones being drowned out by what sounded like heavy metal music, though metal isn’t allowed in the room because of the really large magnet surrounding you.

I even had to trade in my spiffy Covid mask with the metal nose strip for a piece of Kleenex and a rubber band, because, again, still no paper bag. Nevertheless, stripped of metal, I thought I was showing a lot of mettle given that it wasn’t an open MRI, which doesn’t mean they don’t discriminate, but rather that it makes you feel like you’re in the trash compactor scene from the original Star Wars.

Fortunately, these days the procedure only takes 20-25 minutes, and they do offer you a sedative, but apparently not for take out, because I asked, though I didn’t have my credit card with me anyway because of its darn magnetic strip.

Northwestern Hospital Emergency Room – August 26, 2022

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This was a free event for those of us with Medicare, and apparently open to anyone 21 or over, which accounted for the large turnout, some of whom appeared to be season ticket holders, even though there wasn’t a beer stand or food cart to be seen, which was a shame, because they would have done great business with the captive audience, captive being defined as an average stay of over seven hours, on par with Lollapalooza, though the music for this fun fest was limited to various cell phone ringtones.

No reservations were required, and it was general admission, but, like most such events, one could get a better seat by getting there early, or, in this case, by coming alone, so as to avoid being relegated to the lobby, and thereby missing all the dramatic moments near the intake desk that helped the time fly by.

The cast did a fine job, though there wasn’t a George Clooney to be found. The set design was realistic, but drab, and, unlike a good carnival, they didn’t let me take home the pictures they took of me. Moreover, for pain relief, a better bet might be the local CBD store.  Nevertheless, it was immersive theater at its best.

Access Contemporary Music – Thirsty Ears Festival – August 13, 2022

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Promoted as Chicago’s only classical music street festival, this annual two-day event, now in its seventh year, is not quite on the scale of Lollapalooza, but has two important things in common with that and every other outdoor music happening – you can buy a beer and a tee shirt.

I came for Crossing Borders Music, represented on this occasion by the talented duo of violinist Jennifer Leckie and pianist Marianne Parker. I wasn’t disappointed, as their engaging selections crossed numerous borders, including music by composers from Cuba, Uruguay, Armenia, Colombia, and Arkansas.

I also was pleased with the sound system, the ease of parking, and the availability of seating, though I chose to stand, which if I understand the research correctly, caused me to burn up an extra 75 calories.

It also enabled me to hang out in front of the Mathnasium, Math Learning Center, and try to respond to the half dozen, grades K-12 questions on their windows, while simultaneously listening to music and breathing. Since the answers were not shown, I’m going to assume I got them all right, except, okay, maybe one of them.

The Devil Wears Prada – The Nederlander Theatre – August 9, 2022

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The show started about 15 minutes late. Given the heretofore mixed reviews (which I still haven’t read), I assumed last-second changes were being made to the script for this pre-Broadway run.

The opening set showed a New York street with a crosswalk in the foreground that made me wonder whether the Beatles were about to walk across the stage, Paul barefooted. Alas, no. Maybe after rewrites.

But the set that will linger in my mind was the Eiffel Tower, which rose spectacularly from the ground right before my eyes.

The opening scene of the second act, with finely dressed members of high society walking around, some with parasols, made me think of the Ascot Gavotte from My Fair Lady.

If it seems like the script didn’t have my full attention, I’ll mention that I probably was the only one there, including the actors and the writers, who got the joke when Andy threw her phone away because she no longer wanted to sell (cell?) her soul.

And, besides, because it’s still a work in progress, there’s no list of scenes or musical numbers in the playbill to aid my memory (and, surprisingly, I didn’t receive a press kit). But I know there was a song and dance about being in your twenties I liked a lot, and could remember if I still were.

Though I enjoyed it, the show is mostly about the costumes, the budget for which is probably somewhere around the gross national product of the Netherlands.

So, I clearly am not the target audience. There were a lot of crowd-pleasing fashion references about which I was gratefully clueless.

The whole cast was, of course, first rate, but I wanted to see more of Javier Munoz, who plays Nigel, the juicy role that Stanley Tucci had for dinner in the movie.

Grant Park Music Festival – Millennium Park – August 5, 2022

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The guest soloist, Andreas Haefliger, deftly played Ravel’s Piano Concerto for the Left Hand. In case you were wondering, as I was, there are pieces for the right hand only, and, this one was really on my mind during the concert, a series of books with music that can be played with either hand alone.

I also wondered what Haefliger would be doing with his right hand during the performance. If he didn’t know the piece by heart he could have used it to turn the pages. If he had a page turner, would that person have to use only their left hand?

But he just let the right hand sit idle. Seemed like a waste. He could have used it to text. Isn’t that what everyone does when they have a free hand, especially while driving?

I wonder if next year the festival will include a clarinet concerto for the lower lip.

Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique closed the evening. Everything I could hear was good but there were some parts that were so soft that I only knew the orchestra was playing by watching the conductor wave his baton. He could have been faking it, but not during the fourth movement’s hallucinatory March to the Scaffold, which told a story supported by the percussion section that was both symbolic and cymballic.