Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists

We’ll Meet Again

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For those of you who rely upon me for your Doomsday Clock news, be aware that, as of this morning, it has been moved up to 85 seconds until midnight, once again setting a new record we should so proud of.

Frankly, listening to the explanation for the move in the annual announcement, I’m surprised they didn’t move it even more.

The one hope they held out was that somehow the entire population of the world would band together to make their singular voice of concern heard. I will be calling the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists with a great offer for them to buy the Brooklyn Bridge.

So, how does this affect our day-to-day lives. I’m not sure. Should I buy travel insurance? Probably not, The insurance companies probably include a clause denying coverage in the event of the end of humanity (The cockroaches will, as always, survive.).

You probably don’t want to buy the seven-minute ab workout video suggested by the serial-killing hitchhiker in There’s Something About Mary. Maybe the seven second version instead.

I, the eternal optimist, am not going to change my plans for next week, and I actually have a bunch of them, only one of which involves a possible end-of-mankind scenario. So, mostly upbeat stuff you’ll hear about from me.

I understand that Survivor 50 premieres next month. Perhaps it will contain some helpful hints. In the meantime, as Stanley Kubrick told us in 1964, we’ll meet again.

Goodbye 2025

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When sports announcers start giving viewers the odds on one thing or another, I turn off the sound on the television. But I’ve finally found something worth betting on – the end of the world.

According to the Online Betting Guide (olbg.com), there is, as of a few weeks ago, an 80% chance that, in January, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists will move the Doomsday Clock closer to midnight than its current 89 seconds before the hour, which is the closest it’s ever been since first being instituted in 1947, when it was set at 11:53.

I don’t know, having not laid down any money to join a betting site, whether there are any incremental wagers that can be made on this topic. Can you bet on the amount of time the Clock might be moved closer, not just that it will be moved closer, and receive different odds?

You can, instead, not bet, but rather go to a prediction market (wink, wink) and, for example, on one site, vote yes or no, as to whether the Clock will be moved to 60 seconds or less to midnight.

Contemplating this led me to wonder whether a big move like that, akin to the 30 second moves forward in 2017 and 2018 (hmm, what do those years have in common with each other and 2025?) might lead to the world going all the way to its bitter end, a self-fulfilling prophesy. And, if it does, how does one collect on one’s bet, or prediction?

And, finally, what is the effect on the Clock of the recent 4.8 microsecond drift reported by the National Institute of Standards and Technology? Perhaps I’ll look for answers by drifting off to the nearest microbrewery. In the meantime, Happy New Year?