Step 1: Admit that you are out of control and powerless over COVID-19.
Step 2: Come to believe that a power greater than yourself, Tony Fauci, could restore you to sanity.
Step 3: Admit that you are no longer capable of making the simplest of decisions.
Step 4: Make an inventory of your toilet paper and disinfectant.
Step 5: Admit to yourself, and to a pet, the exact nature of your hoarding.
Step 6: Be entirely ready to have the same meal every day.
Step 7: Humbly submit to Amazon Prime.
Step 8: Make a list of all persons upon whom you have breathed, and become willing to make amends to all of them.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people, but don’t go breathing on them again.
Step 10: Continue to take inventory, but stop feeling guilty about the hoarding.
Step 11: Seek, through Zoom, to improve your contact with the outside world as you remember it, or, better yet, as you would like it to be.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, try to carry this message to people who are disregarding the greater power (see Step 2).